Live
by Maiden Marmalade
Summary: A Sakura and Neji pairing. Sakura is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and can't take anything more when she finds a reason to live. Angsty but a love story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

CHAPTER ONE

Sakura thumped her head against the wall in frustration, repeating in a mantra to herself, "I'm so stupid, stupid! What made you think you could do it!" She repeated this for nearly 10 minutes and probably would have continued if not for the voice that interuppted her.

"Sakura," a male voice said hesitantly. She looked up to see Neji staring at her as if she had lost her mind, which she couldn't blame him for. She sighed and pushed away from the wall to face him as he asked, "Is something wrong?"

She was completely floored that he would even ask. Neji made it perfectly clear that he barely tolerated or respected her as a shinobi. 'He's probably only checking to see if he has to contact Tsunade to put me in a straight jacket,' she thought snidely. Aloud she said, "Yeah, its...nothing," she responded shaking her head. "Nothing is wrong," she repeated firmly.

He looked doubtful but was about to turn away when someone ran down the hallway towards her. "Sakura! Sakura," the person cried out. She looked up to see her assistant Keiko running towards her. "Sakura it worked. He's completely stable now. He's still comatose but he's out of the red. You did it, Sakura, I knew you could."

Sakura felt her legs trembling, 'It worked. He's alive,' she thought in disbelief. "Are you sure," she asked.

Keiko beamed at her, "You have to stop doubting yourself. You're going to get your promotion as head surgeon so stop worrying. You're one of the best doctors here, and I don't know why you always doubt your ablility when you're good at every procedure you do! The kunai pierced his heart and lung and you managed to revivive him, so stop beating yourself up and order me to fill out the paperwork," she finished.

Sakura somehow managed a feeble smile, "You're right. I've just...had so much on my mind lately." Her expression took on a fazed out look, "Don't worry about the paperwork, just keep watch over the patient and I'll take care of it."

She could tell her assistant wasn't pleased but she merely nodded. Sakura walked off with a determined stride in her step.

Keiko looked over at Neji. She had seen her superior talking to him and was surprised, she said to him, "I'm glad Sakura is confiding to someone. She's been so lonely and sad these days, and I didn't know she had anayone." She couldn't see his reaction since he kept his expression impassive but she continued, "The thing that happened with her mother was so sad wasn't it?"

Neji had no idea what the assistant was talking about but he nodded. He had never heard about Sakura wanting to become head surgeon, he didn't know she was that skilled in the first place. He himself avoided all injuries and knew she was a medic but just assumed she was a typical one, and not also a doctor at the hospital. The girl was beginning to annoy him, what did he care about Sakura's mother, it had nothing to do with him. He wasn't even friends with Sakura.

She obviously wasn't very strong being the weakest when she was in team 7 when she was younger, so she was probably forced to become a medic due to being weak. They rarely seen each other and the times he did she always was wearing a silly grin on her face for the Uchiha boy. The only person she was friends with that he tolerated was Naruto, who had earned his respect. Something the girl was prattling on about caught his attention.

"I was shocked to hear that her mother had been abusing her all those years. Despite the fact that she was a ninja she could never bring herself to retaliate and strike back. And her mother killed herself right in from of her," she exclaimed.

Something akin to surprise flashed briefly across Neji's face and Keiko realized all she had just said. "You didn't know about any of that did you? I have a terrible habit of rambling on and I never told anyone else this. She accidentally told me when she let herself get drunk one night and confessed. I just assumed she had told you when I seen her talking to you. Please don't tell her I told you," she pleaded her eyes begging him to agree.

Why would he talk to Sakura about it, he didn't really care about it. But one thing stood out in his mind. "When did you say Sakura's mother killed herself?"

Keiko looked nervous but said, "She killed herself 2 weeks ago, and Sakura tried to save her but she shoved the knife thru her heart, and there was nothing Sakura could do about it. She had tried to revive her for nearly two hours and she had passed out. When she awoke she was laying in her mothers blood," she whishpered with horror infused in her voice. "I've been wanting to get that off my chest for days, so you can only imagine how Sakura feels. Sasuke and Naruto have been gone for 4 months now so they don't even know what happened and she hasn't had a chance to talk to them." She suddenly looked embarrassed, "I've done it again, I'm going to go check on the patient before I make a fool of myself."

Neji looked at her as she already had, and she scurried away down the hallway. He shook his head in disdain, Sakura should know better than to loosen her tongue around that girl it'll be her own fault if that gets around Konoha. He moved furthur down the hallway and remembered why he had came to the hospital in the first place! The whole debacle with Sakura had distracted him to the point he forgot that Tsunade had actually sent him to deliver a assignment to any medic nin on staff at the hospital. That made him even more irritated with Sakura. Looking at the rolled up paper he decided he would give her the assignment as payback. With a sligh smug look on his face he turned around and walked the direction Sakura had went.

He didn't have to go far, she was in a staff room a few doors down sitting at a table filling out some papers. He walked in the room and she show any sign of even noticing anyone was in the room with her. Not a good quality for a shinobi, he thought snidely.

He looked at her, and to be honest he would have to admit she was beautiful. She had long pale pink lockes of hair that fell a few inches above her elbow and pastel spring green eyes that sparkled with a intelligence that couldn't be contained within. She was small, barely at 5'2", but made up for it in shapely curves with lithe muscles and flat abs. He let his gaze skim over her body, today she was wearing a snug black skirt that skimmed her knees and a red v-neck top under her white jacket.

Without announcing himself he dropped the paper on the table with a plop and Sakura still didn't look up, and then he noticed something odd. She was sitting up with her head bent down but the pen hovering over the paper wasn't moving, and he realized she was actually sleeping.

"Sakura," he called out and she didn't budge. He called her name again and when he didn't get a response he reached out a hand to shake her and just before his fingers touched her shoulder she lifted her head up and said, "Yes?"

'How? She just-' he thought in confusion. She didn't even appear to have even been asleep but he was positive that she was, otherwise she would have heard him with all the noise he was making. Only when he was about to touch her did she aknowledge him. Maybe she wasn't as imcompetent as he thought. But to make it to Chunnin she would have to have some skills at least. She was staring at him with one brow raised waiting for him to say something.

Neji pointed to the assignment, "Tsunade informed me to bring this mission to a medic nin on staff between either you or Hinata were her exact words. And you're right here," he said as way for explanation. "And she wants a response immediately."

Sakura rolled her eyes and unrolled the papers. Hinata didn't work on Mondays and Tsunade knew that, she wanted Sakura to have this assignment. Her eyes scanned the paper and sighed in exasperation and she leaned back until she was reclining in the chair. Apparently Tsunade wanted her to go on a weeklong mission with Neji and Ten-Ten with them leaving tomorrow morning. She looked up at Neji and gave a small smile, "My first A-class mission is with you and Ten-Ten," she announced.

The look on Neji's face was priceless, he couldn't mask his shock quickly enough and he said his voice strangled, "W-What do you mean your first A-class mission. Those are ranked for jonins."

Sakura rolled her eyes again, "I don't need the basic ninja terms review, I already know that, and if I didn't that wouldn't be good for Konoha because I am a jounin."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "What are you talking about. At the last jonin exams I didn't see you there."

"I didn't get a chance to be recognized by everyone. Soon after the final test I was called away on an emergency," she said wryly. Four months ago all those qualified were invited to take the jonin exams and she took them with Sasuke and Naruto. The next day they were sent on a long-term mission.

Neji still looked skeptical, "How can four months go by and I didn't know you were a jonin? And it took this long for you to get an assignment? Why would Tsunade assign this to you if she wouldn't send you with your normal teammates," he fired the questions at her.

Sakura struggled to keep her temper reigned in, "Apparently for the same reasons Lee-Rock isn't going with you. A medic nin wasn't needed on Sasuke and Naruto's assignment but obviously there is a need for one or else Tsunade wouldn't have sent you to me."

He grabbed the papers back, "She gave me a choice between either you or Hinata. I would trust my cousin at my back, and I'm confident enough in her skills."

"Oh, give me a break," she exclaimed. "Hinata doesn't even work here today, she want be back in Konoha until tomorrow. Shouldn't you know this? Tsunade was giving this mission to me." She snatched the assignment back.

He glared down at her, "I refuse to go on a mission with you. It doesn't matter if you're a jonin now that doesn't mean anything. I don't anything about your competency as a ninja other than you're weak," he declared. "I'm going to speak to Tsunade and say this won't work out. And you should be thankful to me, because I may very well be saving your life. I don't have time to look after a handicap while I'm working, and this is your first A-class mission of all things!"

Sakura shot off from her chair and slammed her fist on the table in anger, "How dare you insult my abilities and my value as a shinobi. It doesn't matter if you go to Tsunade she's still going to send me. So why don't you just give her my reply, I'll be ready in the morning," she finished smiling sweetly.

Neji's silver eyes glinted at her with a mixture of coldness and a trace of crueltly. Sakura felt unease trickling down her spine. His lips twisted slightly in an (emotionless) smile. "I could just tell her I don't want someone who's mentally unstable on my team. From what I heard, it runs in your family."

Sakura felt all the blood drain from her face and she felt faint. She grabbed hold of the table to hold herself up. "W-What do you mean by that," she questioned hoarsely. There was no way he could know, could he?

"Does Tsunade know about your mother," he asked smugly.

"Of-Of course," she answered falteringly. "But-But how do you know? I haven't told anyone else." She reached up to grab a hold to his shirt, "Who told you? Who told you," she whisphered urgently clutching his shirt tightly.

He grabbed her wrists and countered, "I'll tell you how I know if you agree to withdraw from this mission."

Sakura released her breath on a sob, "Who," she cried.

"Give me your word first," he stated.

"I just said who," she said nearly yelling.

"Your assistant," he replied, and Sakura's legs gave out. Automatically he caught her to prevent her from falling than he immediately released her so he wouldn't have to think how she felt briefly in his arms. He stepped back and put his hands in his pocket. "I'll inform Tsunade of your response, thank you."

He looked down at her and refused to feel any remorse for what he said and did. Without another word he turned around and left.

AN: I'll update in exactly a week on Thursday. I have all my stories on a specific timeline and the closer it gets to May the sooner the updates will be, because I will began on my new set of stories. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Sakura stood there in shock, she couldn't believe what had just happened. How-Why? He said her assistant, did he mean Keiko-? But how did she know? She could feel a panic attack rising and she stopped to take several deep calming breaths.

_'I just won't think about it,'_ she thought, _'it'll all go away. Soon Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi will be back. Until then I have to remain calm.'_ She somehow managed to pick up the paperwork she was filling out and shuffle out of the room. She was nearly at the exit when she caught site of Keiko.

Numbly she felt herself giving the papers to a nervous Keiko and giving her instructions and then walking out. It was a struggle but she managed to keep her mind completely clear until she reached her house. Not caring what anyone thought she climbed up the side of her home and went in straight thru her window. She couldn't walk through the front door, the bloodstains were right there on the floor and the sight of it would send her over the edge.

She couldn't even find the strenght to lay on her bed so she just dropped on her floor and curled into a ball and slept. But her dreams weren't a place for her to find solace, they only contained terror and never-ending pain, and at least she was unconcious while she dreamt.

Neji stormed into the Hokage building with a purpose in mind. Sakura Haruno was too unreliable and unstable to be on any team of his. She needed to stay in the hospital, he had found out she was good at it so she should be happy she could at least be useful instead of trying to go places she didn't belong.

He knocked briskly on the Hokage's door and he got an abrubt enter. Tsunade was sitting at her desk staring at some papers in a manner similar to Sakura, but she looked up when he walked in. She looked relieved when she seen him.

"I'm glad you're here," she stated. "Did you give the mission to her," she asked.

"Yes," he started but she cut him off.

"Good," she said, "I should have been straightfoward with you earlier but I wasn't sure if I wanted to betray Sakura's confidence. But until her normal teammates get back she's going to need some extra support now." She sat back and clasped her hands together, "I'm not sure if you've heard but Sakura's mother died a couple of weeks ago and she's been having a hard time dealing with it. What the public doesn't know is that she killed herself and Sakura is blaming herself."

She reached in her desk and placed some papers in there, "So what I wanted to do was send her on a mission that I think would actually be good for her well-being."

Neji was confused, "Excuse me," he interrupted, "You gave me this assignment specifically for Sakura?"

She grinned, "Yeah, she must have seen right thru it, huh? I think this is the perfect beginning assignment for her. With a village full of sick people and kids the time away from Konoha will help her clear her head, and as she cures others hopefully it'll heal whats hurting her. Sakura is one of my favorite subordinates, if not my favorite," she aimed a sharp look at him. "I want you and Ten-Ten to keep a sharp eye on her and don't codle her unless you want a severe scolding. If she needs longer than a week find a way to divert her. I'm counting on you two, I want to send the both of you because I know you're not gossips and the two least likely people to overwhelm Sakura."

She grabbed an envelope perched on the corner of her desk and handed it to him. "Sakura's mission is to heal the village and you and Ten-Ten will be getting compensated for being her companions during her mission. This is coming out of my pocket and I trust you won't let me down. You're dismissed," she waved him off.

Too shocked to say or do anything Neji walked out of her office with the information in his head swimming. _'She wanted Sakura for the mission-No, the mission is to watch over Sakura.'_ He shook his head in disgust, she was so pathetic that the Hokage was paying money out of her pocket to help her. A true shinobi didn't let anything get to them. He wouldn't be surprised if she managed to botch up this mission and nearly get them all killed.

Now he had to go find Sakura and tell her he had no choice in coming on this mission, and he wouldn't hide the fact that he didn't want her along. As he walked down the hallway he passed Shizune who was carrying a stack of papers, and he waited until she was close enough to speak.

"Shizune," he called and she looked his way. "Do you know where Sakura lives?" She got a big grin on his face and he quickly clarified, "For a mission." Never in a million milleniums could he ever imagine himself with Sakura.

"She's actually not that far from here, she lives in the house right next to Shin's Herbal Medicine," she replied. He nodded his thanks and made his way to her house. In no time he was there and he knocked on the door.

He didn't get an answer but he could sense her chakra inside but he assumed she was sleep. She looked like she was ready to collaspe at the hospital and she was probably too frail to handle too much work and pressure. Getting quickly fed up without an answer he just forced the door open and stepped into the eerily quiet house.

It was a nice simple home, but it looked untouched and unlived in. He let his eyes glance over his surroundings and noticed the pictures of a young Sakura with her family and her teammates. There was a picture of her hanging off of Sasuke's shoulder. He had forgotten she had somehow managed to convince Sasuke to date her. But it obviously didn't last since they weren't together anymore.

He looked towards the living room area and what he saw there made him pause. He didn't know why he didn't notice it before. Maybe because there was no smell, and the simpleness of the front room had distracted him. There was blood spatters all over the floor and someone had obviously tried to scubb it up but they were the type of blood stains that couldn't come up from a srubbing.

He knew the exact moment she wakened because he could feel her chakra rising as she checked her house for the other source of chakra. He heard movement from upstairs and the sound of a window opening. A few seconds later he felt her come to her front door. He turned aound and shot her a questioning look.

She just wrapped her arms around her waist and looked somewhere near the doorframe, "What do you want Neji? Didn't you say all you needed to earlier?"

He walked over to her and stiffly handed her the papers, "Tsunade said it was mandatory for you to go on this mission. Be on time," he ordered and walked out and past her.

"Wait," she called and he looked her way. "I thought you said she said you could choose. Why'd you change your mind?"

"She felt this was _something _you could do," he said not wanting to go into details with her. It Tsunade wanted her to know she could tell her herself. And if Sakura wasn't prepared for something like this it wouldn't be his responsibilty, the Hokage shouldn't be coduling a ninja anyways.

Sakura stood there for a moment longer just staring at the scroll, and then she climbed back up to her room. She didn't stay in there, she just grabbed her equipment and some clothes and stuffed them in her pack. Leaving her house she made her way to Naruto's place. Going thru his front entrance she dropped her stuff to the floor and immediately ran to his room and fell asleep in his bed.

It felt lonely without him there with her but it didn't feel as empty and lonely as Sasuke's compound was. Also she knew she couldn't just leave on a mission without either one of their help, so sleeping in Naruto's bed brought her some comfort. And for the first time in days she didn't have a nightmare, but nor did she dream.

AN: Okay, things are going to start getting interesting soon. This is one of my stories where I don't have any back-up chapters (yet) so updates are when I finish a chapter. But I will be updating at least once a week sometime before Mondays. But I will update with chapter 3 on the 22nd.

Ja ne


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